Beauty?

Have you ever had a moment when you look at yourself and think you are beautiful? Have you ever had the feeling when you look at yourself and think…UGH, how can anyone find me attractive or desirable? If I am honest, I have had both. There have been many times when I’ve looked at myself and thought…you go girl, you are rockin this day or this color or that workout is really paying off. I have also had many times when I have been so disgusted by what I see in the mirror that it made me sad.

That sadness came from deep within and I didn’t realize it at the time. Instead I just felt it was me seeing what everybody else saw and I didn’t like what I was seeing. I am learning that the feeling of looking at myself and thinking I look bad or ugly or feel unsexy or just ugh…that I am looking at one of God’s creations and I am being mean. How can I or anyone else for that matter look at one of God’s creations and say anything other than it is beautiful?

Don’t get me wrong, we can certainly do something about our weight and our appearance if we choose, but let’s not doubt our true beauty. God created us perfectly in His image and since He did this…we are all unique and perfect. If you want to be thinner, then watch what you eat and workout…but don’t down yourself when you look in the mirror and see a size 14 or 16 when you want to be a size 6 or 8. You are beautiful right now. You are sexy right now. Positivity goes a long long way and I can’t lie and tell you that I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror and talked to myself. I have positively affirmed my beauty, strength, sexiness, happiness, etc. It is ok to want to change, but remember you are a masterpiece no matter how big or small you are.

Psalm 139:13-14
13You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Ephesians 2:10
10For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Another year older

Today I turned another year older, but it doesn’t feel like it to me. I don’t feel like I have suddenly aged. Have you ever had that feeling or that thought? It is your birthday and yes you realize in your brain that you are getting older, but do you feel it?

Everyone has that “bad” birthday. The birthday where you suddenly realize your numerical age. The age when you look back over your past years and ponder all of the things you have and have not done. Have you hit that age yet? Mine was my 30th birthday. I realized that in my twenties all I did was take care of my home, kids and husband. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with that…I felt like I wasn’t in the place I thought I’d be at 30. I had always thought I would have a successful job as a doctor and be highly educated. It dawned on me that I hadn’t accomplished those goals and I suddenly felt a sense of shame and failure. Not only had I not accomplished the goal of being a doctor; my real estate career was dangling by a thread due to the failing economy. They say that those who can endure such hard times will surely succeed. I can attest to this because I saw many of my fellow realtors bail on the industry and many who endured and are now very successful.

Everything happens for a reason and although I truly believe that…it is sometimes very hard to tell my emotions that when going through hardships. It’s hard to tell myself that I will be ok and I will be successful and I will make it through it. There is a ray of sunshine at the end of the dark tunnel.

They say you experience your twenties to discover yourself. It is a time to learn about the “real world.” One of the many articles found on the internet regarding lessons to learn in your twenties…

20 Harsh Life Lessons Everyone Should Learn In Their 20s

I am a late learner apparently. I learned most of these lessons in my thirties. It was hard turning 30. It was so hard that I allowed my emotional messiness to get even worse by indulging in vices such as food, alcohol, obsessive dieting, obsessive exercising. It has taken me a while to realize the many things I have done to my body, mind, spirit, family and even my kids. It is quite sad, but at the same time so refreshing to learn those lessons. In so many ways I actually feel like I am younger. My spirit feels younger than my annual age. My mind feels wiser. It is amazing what going through those hardships have taught me.

Yes I am another year older, another day wiser and another minute blessed. Now I am a successful personal trainer, aerobics instructor, nutritionist and bodybeach coach. I am a mom to 2 great kids and wife to a great man. I have my dream job and love my family with all of my heart. Thanking God for ALL He has done for me over the past 38 years and looking forward patiently to all He has planned for the next years to come.

Jeremiah 29:11  New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.