Yesterday my children went trick or treating and came home with crap loads of candy. Of course there was already a mound of candy at my home because I expected to have a lot more trick or treaters than I had. ‘Tis the season to be eating crappily. Chick Fil A nugget tray for dinner and candy for dessert. We added sweet tea, lemonade and soda to the yumminess. The joy I get out of eating my favorite things and drinking my favorite beverages is immense. Smiling face, happiness in my heart and fabulously filled tummy. The next day is the intense guilt of what I chose to eat the night before. Yes, the grogginess, bloating and overall yuck feeling exists but so does the emotional crappiness. Why did I eat that? How many miles did I run to weigh what I weigh? How much time in the weight room have I spent to be the size I am? And how many times have I chosen soy and veggies over fried? UGH! YUCK!
Anyone else ever feel this way? There is such an intense emotional bond tied to what I eat, good or bad choices, that it seriously takes a conscious effort. There are times when I pat myself on the back and others when I want to kick my butt. There have been times when I’ve thought I was doing everything correctly and yet I didn’t see results. Truthfully I feel those times are the hardest. There is so much information out there in this world regarding exercise and nutrition. Some is true and others are myths or theories. Deciphering what works best for me is sometimes a challenge. I feel at times that I just can’t win but I keep going. Perseverance which is purely driven by my emotions.
Today I am a little guilty because I did eat a few boxes of milk duds, chick fil a chicken wrap, 3 musketeers, kit Kat, Milky Way, tootsie rolls. (Sigh) But I have to decide that it’s ok and one cheat night, however big it was, isn’t going to sabotage all I’ve done to be and live healthy. So the decision to go for a run and get in the weight room this morning was indeed driven by the desire to be healthy. The choice to eat a thin layer of peanut butter on a whole wheat high fiber low carb tortilla, rather than eat the Dairy Queen biscuit (which is so yummy), is driven by the deep down want to be healthy.
Life is full of choices and full of emotions. Staying in bed, working out, eating butter, eating fruits…all of these are made with emotion. At least for me. My assumption was that everyone else possessed these feelings. Weight and size can be such a roller coaster ride of emotions unless I am a rarity.
1 Corinthians 10:31 – So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.